Emotional Pain

I just red an article, this morning from Osho about emotional pain, and it inspired me to write about it because I think, in our western civilization that emotional pain is something very real, something that a lot of people, perhaps all of us suffer from. I think it is something misunderstood, we all suffer secretly, because we think there is something wrong with our suffering, we can have the idea that somehow we shouldn’t have suffering, that it is not normal. But truth is, suffering is absolutely normal and even needed, there is no days without nights, no flowers without rain,

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We have learn that we should not be sad, we should not have suffering, we have created a mask and we hide behind a false smile because we want to be accepted by others. Our conditioned mind says “smile, what are people going to think of you” even if we don’t feel like smiling, we act, we pretend. From now, when you feel sad don’t smile, don’t pretend to be happy, say it to people I’m sad, I’m depress, there is nothing wrong with it.

If we just sit, in silence, thoughts are going to come, emotions that we don’t want to feel are going to come up and we want to push them away, this is why we  watch tv, go to the gym, watch our phone, drink, even traveling can be a mean to escape from ourselves. But truly, as long as we push our pain away, we simply can’t be happy. Buddha used to says:” no mud, no lotus flower”. which means no pain, no happiness.  The more we push it away, the more it goes deeper into the unconscious mind. Body and mind are one, what we suppress in our mind goes into the body, this is why we have pain in our neck, our arms, and different tensions. Thoughts and emotions are like a river, they are supposed to flow freely, but because of this false society, we put a barrier, a dam, now the water builds up and builds up and it just want to overflow, this is what a depression is, de-pression, there was to much accumulated pressure.

if you can just allow yourself few minutes every day to sit silently, no phones, and just tell your mind ok, now come to me, I am here for you, and simply listen, it will be painful, but it will be the beginning of healing process, pain is transformation, pain is cleansing, it is rejuvenating, refreshing, go into it, dive into it, watch it, be curious about your pain. Sadness is also beautiful, suffering is also beautiful, it gives us depth, humility, it connects us. I send you all my love.

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What is confidence?

The first step to become confident is to drop the idea of being confident, there is no need to be confident, don’t try to be confident, if you try it will be false, actually, be the less confident person on earth, I am personally not confident at all.

We have a false idea of what confidence in oneself is, we think, for example, that a confident man is a man who appear big, who walks with the chest pointing to the sky, who talks loudly, who takes a lot of space, but truly, the more someone try to appear big, the smaller he feels inside.

one thing that has to be understood; you think you have to be confident, that it’s a “must”, but every “must” is bound to create anxiety, you will always carry the thoughts; what if I’m not confident..

For instance, you go to a party, there is all kind of people you don’t know, and your conditioned mind will tell you “I have to be confident”, but deep down you are not, so there is a clash, you will have to fake your confidence, you will pretend, you will act, you are no more natural, and again, all of that simply because you have learned that confidence is something important, you think if you want to have sex, if you want to be accepted by others you will need to act as a confident person. This is why you are so tense, stiff like chopsticks , you can’t relax, because you have to pretend, you have to pretend to be something you are not, because you want to be accepted.

Your conditioned mind says; I don’t want to be alone, I need to be in a relationship, to have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, I have to, so I must be confident, then you become all tense, but if deep down you know, I don’t mind being alone, if I meet someone and it is natural and we get along well, then fine, but if not, no problem, then you start relaxing, then energy flows.

Now, what is true confidence in oneself?

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And not having to compare yourself, this is confidence, confidence is to be yourself, to be happy in being who you are, without having to prove yourself to anybody. Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching ;

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”

I love Lao Tzu’s wisdom, although you don’t need to be respected, by accepting yourself people will naturally respect you.

As you do that, without even trying to appear confident, you will start to relax and by being relax you have found a natural confidence in yourself, just like animals are, naturally confident, but again, don’t think that you must be relax, it will also create anxiety, drop all “should”, all “must”, I should be like this, I should not be like that, etc, they are poisonous, they make you think that you “have” to be in a certain way, they make you tense, drop them, you don’t need them.

No need to be special, no need to be cool, no need to have attention from others, instead, learn to make a fool of yourself, to laugh at yourself. you see, pooh bear doesn’t give a poop, he simply enjoys being a bear, he doesn’t want to be anything else.

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A rose is a rose, a lotus is a lotus and the rose doesn’t try to become a lotus, nor the lotus become a rose, this is why they are both happy.

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Some little poems

I filled your heart with love. You gave it back to another man. But it is find, because the smile on your face and the sparkles in your eyes, thats what I wanted to see.

——

she was different, no one never really liked her, so she departed. When she came back, people where astonished before her beauty. What happened to you, why are you shining like that? Dont you remember that no one like you? Yes she replied, and I want to thank you all because I had no other choice but to love myself.

——

The moutains were perfectly shaped, with some little pointed rocky tips, where all the wild animals would come rest. But the valley, empty, until a bird passed by and filled it up with his music, bringing life back into the abyss.

——

He was a little rebel, but with a pure heart. He thaught he was bad, but she saw only beauty in him. So much that he started to see himself through her eyes.

——

They couldn’t live togheter, but they couldn’t live without each other, classic..

——

she had to put herself naked, to realize her clothes were nothing but an illusion.

——

The day she learned to fly was the day she stoped tourmenting herself with her own shadow. She gave herself a huge hug and until then, she never touched the ground again.

——

He struggled so much, crawling on the ground with some big feet to run away from. Then slowly, he went into the darkness, utterly alone. Then when he came out, he had wings and flew above all.

——

It was a big storm and the clouds couldn’t stop from coming and going. So much that the sun lost himself in them. Until a little opening, his light got reflected from the ocean and the sun remembered who he was.

——

The little seed, called seedy, was a bit jealous before the beauty of the old rose. So one day, with the intention to hurt the big flower, seedy went on telling her, you too, were just a little seed once. Rose, filled with compassion told the little seed, dear seedy, if only you would not be that scared to jump into the darkness, you too would become a majestic flower.

——

The frogs were laughing because the little growth was covered with mud, ugly. But after some time, the growth became a lotus flower, lighting up the swamp with beauty, and the frogs, amazed, without words.

——

She preferred the coolness of the wild lands than the warmth of his prison.

He preferred the warmth of her prison than the coolness of the wild lands.

——

Together they walked for so long, without really knowing each other, until death rumbled and they got naked, meeting again, for the first time.

——

He walked the whole world with a bag of rocks on his back, looking for someone to help him figure out how to get rid of it. After few years, he met a little boy who was playing outside, in a beautiful country, Afghanistan, with the mountains in the background. So the young boy said just drop it sir. Why don’t you just drop it? The man who was now getting old started crying, but my fiend, now that I have been walking for so long, I’m use to carry this bag of rocks, I don’t know what I would be without it, it is scary. The little boy said, you know my friend, I was scared to look underneath my bed because maybe I could have found a monster, but I was more scared to look and not find anything because then I would have no reason to be afraid..

——

And the people of his age were laughing but he didn’t laugh. They were talking but he was not interested. So most of the time he was alone. What’s wrong with me? And a voice from heaven said, “dude, you’re just way to mature for your age bro”.

——

I can’t be arrogant, because shame slaps me in the face and remains me to be humble.

——

She was so filled with love, with bliss, that she begged people to accept her love.

——

 

L’allégorie de la caverne d’aujourd’hui

Comment pourrions nous expliquer/appliquer l’allégorie de la caverne de Platon dans notre société du 21ième siècle?

Rappelons nous que comme démontrer dans l’idée de Platon,

1)des prisonniers sont face à un mur(de la cave) et ils ne peuvent se retourner.

2) derrière eux, un mur, sur lequel il y a des marionnettes

3) derrière le mur, un feu est allumé

4) l’ombre des marionnette est reflété sur le mur du fond(celui don les prisonniers regarde.

5) les ombres sont amplifier du à l’effet de profondeur, ou je ne sais quel effet..

6) les prisonnier sont effrayé et pour eux les ombres sont de réel monstres puisqu’ils non jamais regarder derrière eux.

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Jusqu’au moment ou!

Un des prisonnier soit libéré.

Automatiquement, ils se rend comptes qu’il n’y a pas de monstre, que ce ne sont que des ombres, du au feu et aux marionnettes.

Alors ils quitte la caverne.

Ils voit pour la première fois le soleil et la vie réelle.

Par compassion, il souhaite retourner dans la caverne pour sauver ses amis toujours prisonnier de l’illusion, prisonnier de leur peur.

Alors, il retourne.

Mais au moment où il tente d’expliquer que tout cela n’est qu’une illusion, les prisonniers le prennent pour un fou.

Il ne veulent pas croire, car ils n’ont toujours pas vue autre chose.

Alors ils croient que ce dernier, le sauveur, est le méchant et leur veut du mal.

Mais c’est le contraire, le sauveur veut simplement les sortir de l’ignorance.

Alors, complètement sur d’eux, les prisonniers décident de tuer le sauveur, par crainte de changement.

Maintenant, qu’est ce que Platon voulais dénoncer et comment cette allégorie est telle applicable de nos jours?

Tout d’abord,

qui sont les prisonniers, que représente les marionnettes, les ombres, le feu et la caverne elle même et finalement le soleil?

Les prisonniers; qui sont les prisonniers aujourd’hui?

Nous le sommes tous, aussi simple que cela, nous sommes tous prisonniers.

Prisonniers de quoi par contre?

Prisonnier de la société, qui elle même représente la caverne.

La société, nous a donner toutes sortes de croyances, de jugements, de peurs, de doutes, de façons de pensées.

Dans quel but?

Contrôler l’opinion des gens, parce que si ils contrôlent notre pensé, par la peur, alors ils peuvent nous faire croire ce qu’ils veulent.

Maintenant, qui sont les gens qui tiennent les marionnettes?

Ce sont les écoles, les médias, les religions, le gouvernement, Facebook etc.

Que signifie les marionnettes?

Les idéologies, les croyances, les peurs, jugements, etc que c’est organisation mettre dans l’esprit des individus.

Qu’est-ce qui en découle?

l’ignorance!

C’est ce que les ombres représentes, et ce qui représente l’ego humain.

Tout c’est croyance, ces peurs et jugements ont formé une ombre, que la plupart des gens sont toujours prisonniers.

Nous devons être physiquement beau, réussir, être fortuné, être populaire, avoir un partenaire, avoir des biens matériels, avoir une maison, une voiture, aller a l’université, qu’est ce que le bien et le mal, être gentil, ne pas être méchant etc.

Tout cela à créer une ombre et nous en sommes prisonnier.

Alors qui est celui qui s’en sauve?

Celui qui questionne tout.

Et c’est celui qui sort de tout ces conditionnements pour se rendre compte que ces conditionnements ne sont pas vrai en soi.

Alors cette personne retrouver sa liberté de pensé, sa liberté d’être, sa pureté, son innocence.

Il voit la réalité en face, car elle n’est plus difformé par des croyances.

Ils n’est plus ignorant mais il connait la vérité, il est libre.

Il n’est plus ni bon ni mauvais, il a dépassé cette dualité, Il se rend compte qu’il n’y a ni bien ni mal, mais que ce ne sont que des jugements.

Par conséquent, toute ses actions sont automatiquement bonne, car pure.

Oh et je voulais ajouter, qu’arrive-t-il, lorsque quelqu’un “free son mind”, il devient heureux.

Et les gens qui sont misérable ne veulent pas que les autres deviennent heureux. cela représente le meurtre..

Mais on ne peu blâmer les gens pour être misérable, car la société les à rendu misérable, donc ils ont besoins de juger les autres pour se sentir, en quelque sorte, important ou je ne sais trop..

Bref, libéré notre pensé est la clef!

 

 

 

Part 1 | The lost soul

I was still going to school, lost, because I didn’t know what to do for living.

I was feeling a lot of pressure from society, because that is the typical thing to do, finish your high school, go to university, get a degree, a wife, “the pursuite of happiness”.

The simple thought of doing that was giving my hearthack, for the first time of my life I was getting very sad, depressed.

I dind’t know what to do, maybe I was just too young to know what was best for myself,  I don’t know..

Everyone is trying to tell you what you should do, what is best for you, but thank god since I’m a kid, I never really listen to anyone, appart for my grand-ma, she always told me “be happy”, “that is the only thing that matters”.

I had a nice job, a girlfriend, some good friends, but I was not happy. I was seeing all my friends entering University, but I had no plans at all.

At some point, I cracked, I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, the need to succeed, to “be someone”, I said screw it. I told my girlfriend it was over, I quited my job, I was finally done with school.

For the first time since I was a kid I could breathe for real, breathe like a free man. I felt like some weight droped from my shoulders.

For the first time I felt a flame in my bieng, I was aflamed for adventure, for discovery, for truth.

I wanted to live and not just be alive. I wanted to know more about life, to find a purpose, to have a quest, like a little explorer.

Above all, I wanted to know who I was.

I found enough courage to risk the known for the unknown.

So I departed, with nothing but an urge to live..

into-the-wild

 

 

 

Ganja ~ Meditation

Weed,

Weed is good.

Not for everyone though,

I don’t really smoke weed anymore, because I’m kind of overthinking when I smoke, I am already a little bit coocoo, weed doesn’t help me too much.. but I have red that only a dead man is 100% sane.. anyway, if you smoke the divine Plant, you know that the most epic moments of your life happened when you were high.

Lot of people smoke, wich is totally find, most of the time they are the best people.

When I stoped smoking weed, I kind of felt a little pressure, but a pressure mostly from myself. I know others don’t mind, but when you stop, people you were use to smoke with look at you like..

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When I first wanted to explain how I was feeling when I started meditating(mindfulness) I said it’s like you’re high on crack, on weed I mean… Your senses are sharp, things are more defined, more beautiful. You are relax and realize life is not so serious. You’re present, so you enjoy everything you do. When you are high you can clean the dishes with such grace, slowly, you enjoy doin things usually we don’t wanna do. Every moment is a good moment.

But it’s possible to be “high” without smoking. (I know my friends would say I’d smoke anyway) but for those who don’t want to smoke, Mindfulness does pretty much the same effect, without the “down”.

I think what we are looking for in weed is 3 things.

  1. relax.

2. not take our problems too seriously. (laugh)

3. stop thinking about past/future,(regrets/worries) so to be present.

Wich is what meditation brings too.

To be in a state of let-go, of calm, joy and lightness.

“those who are awake live in a state of constant amazement” ~Jack Kornfield

That’s what we are looking for.

We want to get out of our noisy mind and find back silence within ourselves.

weed naturally brings our awareness back to our body, so we get out of our constant habit to think for no reason and, by the same occasion, create problems for no reason.. But for some, it has the opposite effect.

brain

It is such a relief to get out of our mind.

Mr. Mind is always talking bla bla bla, sometimes I want to tell mr. Mind are you gonna shut up motherfucker?

when overthinking, or simply all the time, we can follow our breathing. It helps not to get lost in our thoughts

Simply observe our thoughts without reacting to them(even if it is not so easy) with practice it works.

to bring our attention on our inner body, to the silence within ourselves.

Whenever we are present, we are happy, for no reason, we want to laugh.

because we have the tendency to try to control everything and resist our emotions, that creates tensions in our body.

When we relax these tensions, we automatically become present.

To relax the tensions, we can direct our breathing into the tensions, like we create space around it. Breathing in the lower belly, relax your eyes and your tong, notice the silence around you, underneath the sounds.

Our body is our best friend, we can listen to it, it always shows us what isn’t find.

So if you dont like to get high anymore, practice mindfulness(to be present/aware of everything we do and constantly self-aware, in touch with our inner body).

When we are present, every moment is a good moment.

We are all one consciousness, meditation makes us remember it. Love is the only thing that matters.

Peace

The birds were laughing high in the trees

The kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

To all the little rebels who couldn’t respect authority, but who’s honesty and integrity are unshakable.

The ones who would have break their heart in pieces to offer them to others.

The ones who could have forgive the whole world, but couldn’t accept their own little mistakes.

The ones who saw beauty into people, nature, animals, life.

The ones who couldn’t listen at school because lost in their mind, drawing on their desk, dreaming of travels, adventures, magic, love.

The ones who saw angels into other eyes but demons in their own.

The ones who couldn’t speak in fear of being judge for their open mind.

The ones who couldn’t tolerate violence, hate, discrimination.

The ones who were starving for justice but yet, not quick to judge.

The ones who were always fighting with themselves, their own worst enemy, but the same ones who made peace and became best friend with themselves.

With compassionate ears, always ready to listen without opinion.

The ones who were different but beautiful.

Weird, but without any malice.

Courageous, but with a tint of softness.

Perseverant, even with a heavy burden of pain on their back, they would have walked the whole world to help others to hold their pain so they can rest.

Authentic and grounded like a tree, soft as water, they endured many storms.

Humble, they looked for the real over the artificial.

In style, elegance over fashion.

Kind, they couldn’t accept to treat someone badly and if they did, they would feel terribly sorry.

Rich, they had no possession, but wisdom, good friends and an unbearable optimistic vision of life.

Passionate, with fire in their eyes.

Creative, they saw art where no one could find it.

Curious and thirsty for life, always ready for new adventures, interested in everything.

Generous, always ready to help and share what they had, even if it was simply a warm smile.

A good laugh was more precious than all the gold in the world.

Their tears had hard time find their way out, but when they did, a piece of their soul, some purity, had been given to the rivers and the oceans.

They would go again into the unknown, fascinated by it. Without thinking of failure. With fear in their chest, they would take a deep breath and with all there courage, jump into the abyss.

The opinion of others mattered because they saw themsleves in them.

At the same time, they learned to walk alone like a lion, unafraid of the crowd, with no intention to prove their worth.

Intense in love, they realized the chance to share a moment of life with someone.

Reserved, but not shy, they saw silence as the best way to communicate.

Interested when discussing life, but their soul couldn’t handle small talks.

Listening before talking.

Simple, constantly amazed, they saw beauty in the little things.

Happy, they never tried to be the best, but simply the best version of themselves.

Tolerant, they rather live in peace than carry unnecessary grudge on their shoulders.

accepting, they never judged other people’s differences.

Silent, but with a loud mind.

Intelligent, they couldn’t change a bulb but could bring back light into people’s eyes.

Mature, but not serious.

Fool, but wise.

Serene, she understood that thunder never really hurted anyone.

Beautiful, but she never knew, because her beauty was hidden underneath her skin.

Calm, he walked slowly, enjoying the roses on the road.

Intuitive, they trusted themselves above all.

Respectful, they saw others as equal.

Thankful, they saw life as a precious gift.

His life was living poetry, music for the soul.

To all these kind beings, pain soften our heart like water polishes rocks.

Love is the cure, compassion is the way.

Life is a great paradox. So perfectly disguised in a costume of reality that the actors of the play have forgotten they were playing. But the birds have seen the whole scene, and high in the trees, they were laughing.